Dave Barry's Homes and Other Black Holes by Dave Barry

Author:Dave Barry [Barry, Dave]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-0-307-75882-8
Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
Published: 2010-07-28T04:00:00+00:00

“My truck has a flat tire.”

“My wife is having a baby.”

“My uncle died.”

“My wife strained her back.”

“My uncle has a flat tire.”

“My truck is having a baby.”

These time-honored excuses have been handed down through many contractor generations, dating all the way back to ancient Rome, where the original contractors built the ruins. Contrary to what historians will try to tell you, the ruins were never finished buildings: they were always ruins. The Romans kept trying to get the contractors to come back and finish them, but the contractors kept coming up with excuses, the oldest recorded one being “Quid vox probenium est” (“My wife strained her uncle”). Eventually the Romans simply had to learn to live among ruins. You, as a homeowner, will have to do the same thing.

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